December 31, 2016 (Saturday)

December 30, 2017

Just a short, banal observation, prompted by the stark, leafless, and sun-seared view out my window this morning: When B. looks pretty, it’s because a balance between nature and the man-made is achieved. In winter, visible nature dies back, and all the helter-skelter, undesigned or at least ill-placed aspects of the man-made rise to prominence: […]

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Needles (Poem)

December 30, 2017

Needles (Poem) The New Year hasn’t yet begun, I’m stumbling too soon Over needles and branches. Amid recycling bins and garbage cans Discarded Christmas trees block the Way. It’s Not even A new year And I’m stumbling over Needles stuck on branches Of Christmas trees put out for trash. I Feel The sharp Need to redeem Those curbed, coldly ditched […]

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December 30, 2016 (Friday)

December 29, 2017

Is being a peer versus peerless a binary (or, say, a mutually exclusive) situation? I was thinking about this – or rather, thinking about a desire which popped up and had to do with finally seeing myself as a peer among my sisters. And about how being a peer would carry into my relationships also […]

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December 29, 2016 (Thursday)

December 28, 2017

The calendar year is drawing to a close. It doesn’t really mean much, but in terms of seasons, it’s possible to feel a change, a move to dormancy, if you will. I could be projecting, of course… I’m definitely feeling slowed down, and a bit sad about what is or might be dying off. Some […]

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December 28, 2016 (Wednesday)

December 27, 2017

Yesterday, when A. and I were on a long beach-bound walk, I talked a bit about the narcissistic mother problem. He had some interesting insights of his own. When I mentioned that I seemed drawn to friendships with women who could be rather narcissistic themselves – something I had until now always associated with a […]

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December 27, 2016 (Tuesday)

December 26, 2017

My birthday “week” continues, with today being the actual day. Let it be recorded that the temperature is predicted to be crazy warm for this time of year and this place today: mid-50s, maybe 57ºF. Of course by New Year’s Eve it’s supposed to drop through floor again, but right now the remnant clouds of […]

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December 26, 2016 (Monday)

December 25, 2017

Is a parent the co-author of her child’s happiness? How about her child’s unhappiness? To what extent does this matter? (I think it matters. A lot.)

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December 25, 2016 (Sunday)

December 24, 2017

In the early morning hours I dreamt about E., who is not here for Christmas, which makes me sad. In my dream, she had changed her Facebook banner / background photo to a kind of psychedelic image, but the weird thing was that when you clicked on it, it didn’t just expand, but turned into […]

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December 24, 2016 (Saturday)

December 23, 2017

(An aside, following up from yesterday: when I wrote that Scold’s Bridle was the third Minette Walters TV adaptation I had watched, I wrongly sorted a production, Place of Execution by Val McDermid, with Minette Walters’s work. That one also had a very dark child-rape(s)-based plot…) I’m reading This Is Where You Belong by Melody […]

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December 23, 2016 (Friday)

December 22, 2017

A markedly different morning, very hot light from a bright shining sun already high in a burned-off, dry blue sky. Last night we watched another Minette Walters TV adaptation. Like the others we’ve seen, this (the third one) was also creepy and filled with sexually very dark material. It was called The Scold’s Bridle, and […]

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