Orgasms make you smarter! Hooray!

by Yule Heibel on March 29, 2004

This gives new meaning to sleeping your way to the top of your (academic) profession and / or jerking off to a new (non-needed) PhD topic: according to Hamburg sex researcher Werner Habermehl, more sex increases one’s intelligence. Yippee! Seriously now, and this applies to couples and DIYers (in either case, it helps if you’re good with your hands): during lovemaking and/ or sexual stimulation, the hormones adrenalin and cortisol stimulate the brain. Bingo: more stimulation, more pathways, and so on. You know the drill, right? So, assume the position. Sex is also associative: the experiences you collect during sex help you out in other, not necessarily related, life-experiences. Sailing, for example: it’s always a good thing to know how to tie knots. Or HR (believed by some to refer to Human Resources, but in reality referring to Human Remains): who wouldn’t benefit from having sexual experience when negotiating with a prick of a boss? Furthermore, during orgasm, your brain bangs out endorphins and serotonin, which in turn enhance your — wait for it! — self-esteem! Hence we see a basic biological connection between sex and self-esteem, one which of course is exploited to the hilt by our marketing culture. ‘Cause c’mon, we all know where your wandering l’il fingers go… And it ain’t up your nose: it’s to your cheque-book. So ask yourself: is your finger on a remote control tonight, or on something a tad more stimulation-worthy? Or on something that will really get you into trouble, such as your credit card? An English-language link for further consideration: regular sex helps prevent headache. Oh, and another PS:
Look at this picture, taken from another site discussing Habermehl’s research on why men take at most 15 minutes to come, while women need longer. (Hint: there’s an evolutionary reason: men needed to shoot fast, in case they get nabbed by a hungry saber tooth tiger and haven’t had time to plant their seed …or — and this is the really-real reason: the woman decides he’s a crap shoot and loses interest in the jerk. Hence, in evolutionary terms, it’s to his (genetic) advantage to come to the finish line quickly. Ha, and you thought it was some crappy Mars-Venus thing, you fool! Anyway, consider this picture:

Clearly, what’s missing here is any sort of hand-action. This picture is a visual construction geared to the adolescent male who hasn’t a detailed idea of female anatomy, or the middle-aged fossil who hasn’t had enough sex to wake his brain up. The illustration of this athletic adventure (attractive as it may be) misses out on a key component in sex: girls and boys, repeat after me, use of hands is a good thing. A woman shouldn’t have to use both of hers to prop herself up against a wall….


Joel March 30, 2004 at 4:16 am

Did Rageboy take over your blog for the day?

Joel March 30, 2004 at 4:41 am

Gender Genie thinks that a male is writing this article…. 🙂

Anonymous April 2, 2004 at 3:15 am

Now I know why I am so fucking smart and full of self=esteem. Thanks. And I do come in 15 minutes, then look around to make sure there is no sabre tooth tiger and then do it again. Of course 15 minutes later if I still don’t see the tiger I keep on fucking.

Yule Heibel April 3, 2004 at 2:53 am

Ha, Joel, that Gender Genie is polymorphously perverse and a dyed-in-the-wool liar to boot! And K, it appears you are an evolutionary marvel, a jump in the pattern, with your brain-the-size-of-a-planet-enhancing ability to keep going after the second 15-minute round! Amazing!

Anonymous April 13, 2004 at 1:36 pm

Well, the first round is about 15 minutes. The second about 45 minutes. The third and fourth about 30 minutes – at least that’s how it was in Paris this past week every day.

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