November 30, 2016 (Wednesday)

by Yule Heibel on November 29, 2017

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a young person who’s somewhat perfectionistic and somewhat tending toward depression. She’s in love with a flawed character. I suppose that’s no surprise. It would be impossible, unless she had some kind of change of mind (like, a head transplant), for her to love a “simple” man. A simple man would be too simple: no challenge, no hope of “improving” or “fixing” or “saving” him, therefore nowhere to direct the perfecting drive. But then again, a complex, flawed character might not be the right partner for someone who’s struggling so much, struggling with herself. They say, “perfect is the enemy of good” (or sometimes of “good enough”).

At the end of the day, going for good (or good enough) versus perfect can take a person much farther. ..Something all us beat-ourselves-up perfectionists really need to keep in mind… Direct the drive for perfect to where it might make sense, but don’t let it be a general principle (as in, something you apply equally to everything). This is something I told her, although I’m not sure I really believe that last bit about general-vs-specific myself. I too am probably mortally afraid to let go of “perfect” as a general principle, although I think it was right to advise her to direct it as a specific application.

After a while, we all let go of perfectionism in many areas of life. The latter (life) kind of beats it out of us. Just hang on to it where it makes sense, and don’t sweat every angle.

And on a completely unrelated note (but, you know, Sadean women, Justine vs Juliette), I was reminded of a Facebook post I made a while back, when Ivanka Trump sat in on a meeting with her father Donald and the visiting Japanese Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe. Screenshots:


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