While I meditated, the thought presented itself to me that I really – and I mean really – am in the wrong place. I love my house, and we’ve established that a great home / house is important to me. But I don’t love this place. I love specific bits of it – which perhaps reinforces a sense of being in bits and pieces. These bits include the ocean, the shoreline (in bits), the sky. But, since the oceans are pretty big on earth, and therefore so too are shorelines, it’s not exactly the case that these shorelines, this ocean are / is the only one to love in this whole wide world.
I went to Z.’s wellness event, briefly, yesterday. The weather was crap, the walk through Salem to the church hall, where she was holding the event, dispiriting. As I entered and climbed the stairs to the second floor hall, I could hear music and lots of chatter. She outdid herself this time: lots of vendors, a goodly trickle of visitors. But I felt lost. Not my crowd, not a single thing I would be interested in buying. The main highlight for me was talking to C., who was there with his Macbook, making a hotspot so Z. could stream appropriate music to a sound system. As we talked, the topic of where to live came up, and he mentioned his recent visit to LA, and how much he likes LA these days. Then he said that he wouldn’t be surprised if his parents end up as snowbirds in LA. And I thought, Just like the Wilsons. For whatever reason, the idea really struck me. I guess I’d never considered anything like it myself. It seems too glamorous, perhaps, too much a thing for the rich. Florida, maybe, as a same-timezone landing for the old and infirm – such a cliché, yet firmly embedded. But leaping over timezones to become East-West bi-coastal …well, that’s …different. But why? It shouldn’t be. It did make me think about it (not necessarily for myself, re. LA), made me think of “snowbirding” as a viable strategy, especially if it doesn’t mean Florida.
On the drive over the bridge, I heard the beginning of a 2002 TAL rerun about testosterone. After dinner, W. and I listened to the whole podcast – very interesting, especially in re. wunschloses Unglück. Desire is important.