On a recent walk W. talked again about not knowing how much longer he wants to do “this,” meaning the usual morning routine of getting up early, being on a very tight schedule, feeling rushed, heading off to work. What he would prefer instead is getting up — or waking up — more naturally, not having to run to a train station, and working for maybe four or five hours instead of eight, and having the rest of the day unscheduled.
Sounds completely reasonable to me, I replied. And I asked, “So how can you get there? Where can you get that?”
The answers had something to do with finding someone to work with because we’ve kind of established that working solo isn’t his thing. He needs a partner at the least; perhaps a small group.
He said that working with H. in Victoria probably came closest to what would be an ideal, except of course that in the end they didn’t make any money. But it’s someone like H., maybe even H. himself, who he needs.
Which brought me to the question, “Ok, where do you find your H.?”
I can ask myself the same thing. I noted that overall we’ve been here for quite a while, and neither one of us has found his or her “H.” here. Does this mean it’s “here” that’s wrong, or is it something in us, in something that happens to us when we’re here (because it didn’t happen in Victoria: at least one of us found his “H.” there)? (Nor was I isolated.)
Spatially, the urban layout of Victoria might be what lends itself to better interaction. Here, the suburbs and the difficulties in transportation contribute to isolating and atomizing us.