October 29, 2017 (Sunday)

October 28, 2018

We got up really late today; still, I feel tired. Physically and mentally plateaued. Neither moving forward nor backward, yet knowing at the same time that feeling like this means that one is actually declining, moving backwards. If you feel like you’re standing still, you’re not – it’s an impossibility, there is no standstill; you’re […]

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October 28, 2017 (Saturday)

October 27, 2018

Energy. Where does it come from, how can you have more? Today I meditated just before sitting down to write these morning pages – it’s the weekend, and I have more time. As I was doing the exercise, I felt a sense of energy …but also of quietude. In fact, it occurred to me that, […]

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October 27, 2017 (Friday)

October 26, 2018

Yesterday it was dark as coal dust all morning, and the rain poured forth from above. Today, it’s clear, bright, sunny, crisp, and dry. It’s almost like it’s an altogether different day. Oh, wait… Well, okay, it is a different day, but what does that actually mean, anyway? In a way, we perceive time as […]

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October 26, 2017 (Thursday)

October 25, 2018

Second day in a row of dark rainy weather as we wake up. The desk lamp is on. It’s odd, but I feel almost personally insulted in the wake of seeing on Twitter a post by Jordan B. Peterson: a photo of a poster which some anonymous people have been putting up in the Toronto […]

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October 25, 2017 (Wednesday)

October 24, 2018

On October 25, 1975 I was (temporarily) back in Victoria, and staying at my parents’ apartment on Fort Street. It was 75ºF that day. At the time, I made a note of it, commenting on how insanely summery it was. Today, October 25, 2017, I look out on the first truly wet day we’ve had […]

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October 24, 2017 (Tuesday)

October 23, 2018

Now the light has returned to being an even glaze of early morning illumination, but I saw a spectacular reveal earlier of broken highlights and magical intensities. Broken highlights on the uneven clouds, which now have fused and blended into bluish light gray. Highlights of the insanest gold and other precious metals, and not a […]

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October 23, 2017 (Monday)

October 22, 2018

Confusion, yet knowledge. Clarity, but muddied. Seeing, obscured by a mesh. Filters. Then, mortality. It creeps up on us all. Yesterday was a day of being sloth-like. A. called; we had a good, long conversation about a lot of things. W. and I drove to Manchester-by-the-Sea (so pretentious) and walked the Masconomo loop (Curtis Point). […]

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October 22, 2017 (Sunday)

October 21, 2018

Another morning of sleeping incredibly long and deep. I awoke at 5 again, briefly, then at 8 or 8:30, then at 9:30 finally to realize that, yes, I could spend the rest of the day in bed, but that there was something almost abnormal – no, strike “almost”! – about how enervated I feel. I’m […]

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October 21, 2017 (Saturday)

October 20, 2018

Woke up at 5a.m., but instead of drowsing superficially in anticipation of soon having to get up, I went back into a deep – and dream-filled – sleep till just after 8. I had lots of dreams; even the 5a.m. wake-up was preceded by dreams. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at remembering them, although one did involve […]

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October 20, 2017 (Friday)

October 19, 2018

Can’t say but that I’m not immensely relieved it’s Friday. The past few days, walking to the station with W. in the mornings, have been hard in a number of ways: the end of vacation, back in harness here, and the vile ugliness of E.-Street …it’s as if Ugly has to go somewhere; as soon […]

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